As many of you know, I was recently hired by the embassy to be one of the two Community Liason Office coordinators. This position is commonly called "the CLO" by embassy folks, rhymes with "flow". When we were back in the US I didn't know exactly when I would start, but it turns out it was this past Tuesday, the 14th.
Well, my first 20 hours are done, and things seem to be going well. I'm having fun, working with great people, and although there is much to learn, I'm not feeling totally overwhelmed. The only significant downside seems to be with the kids. This week and next are their two weeks of winter break, so they have been home from school all day every day. That means that they have been spending a whole lot more time with the nanas. Turns out (surprise!) they aren't so happy for daddy to be gone two and a half days.
Ben had been excited by my starting work at first. Then I explained that I would be working, but Mommy wouldn't be changing to part time work. No more mommy, just less daddy. Sobbing, he grabbed my head and claimed he would never let go. Thus started my first day of work, and my second. Today, day three, seemed better at first. When I got home, however, things were quickly revealed to be not as great as I thought. I had children alternating in crying over tiny little things, and finally after Jen got home and we started dinner, Ellie had a total breakdown about which prayer we said.
Turns out, after coaxing from Jen, she was just feeling really overwhelmed by my being gone so much, being out of school, and just life in general.
So, tough few days. Once school starts again I think we all will be better, but working part time is not going to be an easy transition.
No, not the former Soviet kind. The other kind. That's right, Ben got accepted into pre-kinder at Saint George! Woohoo! That means we don't need to work at all on finding a new school for the boy. Phew.
Unfortunately, since he was born in 2005, he isn't going to be ready for Kinder quite yet. That means he'll be one of the oldest in his class, which we don't mind, but we'll also need to pay for all of his school, which we don't love. The Embassy will pick up the tab the next year, but until then we will feel the pain.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering, he's been accepted for the 2010 school year, starting almost a whole year from now. Crazy, huh?
Last night we had some excitement here, although not of the best sort. Jennifer was home again, actually seeing us for the first time since Thursday morning, we had finished a nice dinner, the kids were almost tucked in, and the two of us were going to fall asleep while watching a few episodes of Lost. Good night, right?
We almost made it there. Ellie was nearly asleep, and I was finishing the tucking-in process with Ben. He had a few toys with him, as usual, and in his hot little hand he held two coins from some country outside of Chile. As I was finishing his prayer, he just casually reached up and popped one of the coins into his mouth. Since he was lying down, it slid immediately to the back of his mouth, and he started choking.
I propped him up, tried the finger sweep method of clearing a small child's mouth, and was encouraging him to cough, all the while shouting for Jen to come help. It soon became clear that the coin was lodged in his esophagus and the immediate danger was past, as he was able to breathe. We woke Ellie up and drove him to the urgent care center that is luckily about ten minutes from our house.
There they checked blood oxygen, determined he was fine (it ranged from 97-100) and took him in for x-rays.
During this, everybody was asking us what kind of coin it was, and were somewhat amused to find that we couldn't even identify a continent of origin. The kids "collect" coins, and we have them from the US, Peru, Mexico, Thailand, Malaysia, the Philippines, Hungary, the Czech Republic, China, and the EU. I'm probably forgetting one or two, but you get the picture. The best I could do was say it wasn't Chilean - the kids don't play with money they know can buy bouncy balls or candy.
After analyzing the x-rays, they decided that it was likely to not pass through him naturally, which meant that we needed to relocate to the main hospital where they would have somebody waiting to extract it. We decided that it was best for Ellie to get some sleep, so we went home, and Jen and Ben then headed to the hospital.
A few hours later, somewhere around midnight or 1am the coin was extracted, and Ben was just sleeping. They used an endoscope so he had to be under general, and it wasn't clear how long he'd be asleep.
In any event, he woke up a few hours later, Jennifer brought him home, and we all woke up in the same house, not much the worse for wear. Ben has a bit of a sore throat (serves him right!) but is in good spirits, Ellie is tired, I'm tired, and the three of us missed our chance to meet Joe Biden this morning. Jen spent the last few days with him and his staff, and so this morning she is back at work taking care of whatever needs to be written up following meetings between the VP and foreign leaders.
For those of you who haven't seen the kids recently, I'll just mention something Jen pointed out last night. We've taken both kids to the ER/urgent care several times. For Ellie it has always been for croup or similar illnesses. For Ben it has been for when he slammed his thumb in a door in our house, and now for when he swallowed 50 Mexican centavos. That should help illuminate their respective personalities a bit.
I'm hoping that this takes care of our near-death experience quota for this assignment. I handled it in Cambodia, Ben took it here. I think we've done our fair share.
Yesterday was Elena's first day of kindergarten. It feels like the last month or two have been just prelude to yesterday, what with all the shopping for the uniform, the purchase of her book for English classes, and the general excitement that has been surrounding everything even remotely related to St. George's College.
The morning (she starts at 8 and finishes at 12:30) went pretty well, her teachers said she was good, if quiet. That quiet won't last long, I'm sure, the girl loves to talk. Here are a few pictures.
If she looks nervous, it is because she is. She got a stomach ache as we drove into the school parking lot.
This shows less anxiety and more of the cool old gate to the school.
In the classroom she found something that would have made Ben comfortable, but large plastic dinosaurs are less important to her than to her brother. Ben was with us, and as soon as he saw them he ran over and played until we left.
Puzzles are more her style. Behind her is one of her two teachers, Maite. The little girl behind Maite is wearing one of the little smocks that the kids are supposed to wear nearly all day. Sadly that is the one bit of the uniform that she doesn't like, and today at dropoff burst into tears when told to put it on. We asked her why she doesn't like it and she responded that she didn't like "the style". I suspect she is annoyed that the boys wear brown ones and she has the blue and white checkerboard kind.
That's all the photos we have, although we have more stories. The families in the class have been extremely welcoming, the parents more than the children, of course. That being said, Ellie has an invitation to a birthday party tomorrow (she's going to go) and we are invited to a BBQ at the school with the families from her class of 27. The other 26 started in the same pre-K class, and she is the only new one, which makes it a bit harder for her, but everybody seems to understand how difficult it is for her, and they all are trying hard to help.
Today's new thing is the bus - she will be riding it home after school every day. There is a driver and a helper, and all the buses are required to have safety belts by school rules, but I'm still nervous.
Right, well, that's all for now. I need to go drop off some drycleaning and pick up Ben. He's doing better on his own at the preschool than we had expected, which has made Ellie's transition easier for me to handle.
A few days ago the kids needed haircuts, and I had been delinquent in getting them to the barber, which has been known to happen on occasion. In the morning we had a playdate with Asher, his mom, and his baby sister Liesl. They had been away in the US for about six weeks, and during that time Asher had steadfastly refused to get a haircut. So Julie (his mom) and I decided to have another play date that afternoon, this time at the playground right outside the barber shop. The hope was that the kids would be good influences on each other, particularly Ellie, who really likes haircuts.
A few hours later we met up at the barber shop. Asher, to my surprise, was convinced simply by Ben and Ellie's willingness, and was already in the chair when we got there. His big sister Morgan had also come along. Now Morgan is seventeen, and frequently babysits for the kids. We are trying to think of ways to make it so she doesn't go off to college this summer and instead stays here so the embassy continues to have her babysitting services.
Anyway, Asher was soon finished, and Ben decided to be difficult and refused to get into the chair. Ellie said she'd go next, so Ben calmed down a bit. Enough to notice that Morgan was sitting in a comfy chair in the waiting area, and that there was an equally comfy chair next to hers just waiting for him. He wandered over, scrambled up into the chair, crossed his legs, and leaned on the arm of the chair closest to her. They then proceeded to chat. His new owie (which was the nominal cause of the struggle) was forgotten. They chatted until Ellie was done. I then went over to ask Ben if he was ready for his haircut. He looked at Morgan, who smiled and told him he'd look much better with a haircut. That was all he needed. He hopped out of the chair and climbed up into the barber chair.
So far, except for a notable age difference, I think I approve of his choice of girlfriends. I'm not sure how comfortable I am leaving them alone together now, although I suspect that Ellie would be happy to tell all...
Well, I've once again been neglecting you all. Ben did indeed turn four on the 8th, and I am nearly two weeks late getting photos up. This is not because we didn't celebrate (we did), or because we've been away (we haven't). I've just been home with the kids every day, since this is summer vacation, and finding time when they are quite and I'm not sleeping is difficult.
Enough with the excuses. Here we go. Ben decided that he wanted a family-only party this year, for reasons that aren't entirely apparent to us. I guess he didn't like the idea of yet another party, or something. He really is a social little guy, but perhaps he was just feeling overwhelmed by all the parties we've been having recently.
We started with decorating the star-shaped cupcakes that he requested. If it looks like there are more sprinkles on there than frosting, it isn't just you.
We then ate a delicious dinner, consisting of dino macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, ketchup, raw veggies, and kid champagne.
Here is the only slightly overloaded cupcake, waiting for the big blowing out.
Finally, we had the big opening of presents, including the trying on of shin guards and setting up of games. Perhaps not the most exciting of parties, but he told us it was fun, so I guess that's the important thing.
This is the season of Christmas programs, and also of end-of-year festivities at schools around Chile. We have a few videos, first from the end of year program at the kids' school, and then from our Church's Christmas program. All are relatively short. Ben doesn't appear in any of the videos because he has issues with participating in such things. He refuses to attend Sunday School, thus isn't in the church program. The preschool program started at 7:30pm, and since he had refused a nap that day he fell asleep before it even started.
Ellie and friends John, Henry and Julian do a traditional American dance
All the kids in the big finale. They all had interesting costumes, some from their home countries, some not. And yes, the child with the big hair and animal skins is in blackface. Chile isn't quite as progressive as the US in terms of race issues.
This is only a small part of the full program, but it was the only part that Ellie was in. I apologize for the occasional crazy swings of the camera, but Ben was trying to make his presence felt as well.
I took the Friday after Thanksgiving off and told Nathan to prepare for a morning date involving moderate physical activity. His surprise was that we took a bike tour of the city courtesy of a company called La Bicicleta Verde (The Green Bicycle). This one focused on the bohemian Bellavista neighborhood, some of the main markets in town, and the Plaza de Armas (main town square).
We had a great time and learned about the city, though I think my estimate of "moderate physical activity" was a bit generous. The company offers other tours, and in fact we plan to go on their afternoon "Parks and Politics" tour with Nathan's parents when they come to visit for Christmas.
Jen enjoying the tour
La Vega Central Market--home to the freshest fruits and vegetables in Santiago.
Nathan and our tour guide chatting at the Plaza de Armas.
Old meets new--Santiago's cathedral juxtaposed with a modern office building.
We hosted a fabulous Thanksgiving a few weeks back, complete with turkey, mashed potatoes, Jen's famous cornbread stuffing, a fabulous asparagus dish (hey, it was spring here!), canned cranberry sauce (sadly, no fresh or frozen cranberries to make homemade cranberry chutney), and a homemade lucuma pie. No pumpkins in Chile, so we improvised with this Peruvian fruit, which yielded a pie which was similar to pumpkin, but not really the same.
We invited several of my colleagues who wouldn't have celebrated Thanksgiving otherwise. One family had to cancel at the last minute due to some urgent bullying issues at school that they had to deal with, but we were very happy to host our secretary, Anni, who is Finnish-born and doesn't normally go to the trouble of making Thanksgiving for herself and her daughter Iida, and our Economic/Political Assistant, Erica, an American married to a lovely Chilean named Nico who had never experienced Thanksgiving before.
Anni, Iida, Nathan, Jen, Ben, Ellie, Erica, and Nico
If you don't believe it, check out my status page. Woohoo!
A million thanks to Jen and the kids for not killing me, and even more thanks to them for actually going out of their way to give me time to write. They are currently shopping after having gone to a movie. The movie only got 22% on Rotten Tomatoes, so this surely is a sign of their love.
If any of you are wondering, no you can't read it. At least not yet. I haven't even read it yet. I just felt the need to brag.
Ellie and Ben helped a friend celebrate his 5th birthday last weekend, and in the process we were introduced to a great new park in the heart of Santiago!
In a circle starting from Ellie: Ellie, Julian (birthday boy and church/school friend), Ben, John (embassy kid), Nathan (Julian's brother), Riley (another brother), and Patrick (embassy kid)
Ben and Ellie learn the ropes.
The world's coolest swing--part rope swing, part teeter-totter.
No Chilean playground in a well-to-do neighborhood would be complete without a vendor hawking cheap toys. This is also an organ grinder.
Last week I got to participate in a Santiago Economic/Political Section tradition--the offsite. We headed out to the rarefied Errazuriz vineyard about 1 1/2 hours from Santiago for a serious discussion about the next year's goals and how the section is working, followed by fun: a tour of the vineyard, winetasting, and fabulous lunch.
It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.
Mountains in the background at the vineyard.
Senior Econ Officer Sasha, Intern Jake, and Presidential Management Fellow Marianna in front of the Errazuriz estate.
Another view of the beautiful setting.
The E/Pol team (or at least most of us): Office Manager Anni, Desk Officer (based in DC) Leah, Me, Law Enforcement guru Patrick, Presidential Management Fellow Marianna, Senior Econ Officer Sasha, Section Chief Juan, Intern Jake, and Assistant Erica.
We invented a new bedtime game: Jammy Surprise. The kids go get themselves dressed in their pajamas all by themselves, while I try really hard to guess what pajamas they'll put on. Somehow, when they come to show me, I've always guessed wrong! They love fooling me and are eager to get themselves dressed.
All good things must come to an end, and apparently so must our school search. We've spent the last week visiting Nido, having Ellie examined at TIPS, making appointments for Santiago College, and today visiting St. George for one more interview.
As it turns out, the interview at St. George was about two things. First of all, they are a little concerned that Ellie doesn't really do the kiss on the cheek thing that is expected in Chilean culture, and she doesn't really like people she doesn't know hugging her, touching her head, etc. They said that we need to work on this with her because to a Chilean these things make her seem somewhat mean or hostile, or at least overly withdrawn.
The second thing they wanted to tell us was that this was particularly important, as they would like her to start Kindergarten there in March! Woohoo! All that work, mostly on Jen's part with a few small efforts from me, finally paid off! Her contacts called people, her doing Ellie's hair in pigtails, constant fretting about where she would get in, all of that has come to an offer which we have accepted.
Later in the day, we got a call from TIPS offering Ellie a position, and Nido has also accepted her, so we've now got three schools offering her spots. It is nice to have them, but we're committed to St. George. If we weren't committed, we would have dropped out of the process long ago. What a pain.
Now we just hope that it is as good as everybody says it is, if we wind up transferring her to Nido we'll sure feel like dopes.
We had a chat with Ben and Ellie a few nights ago about their futures, and Jen had the foresight near the beginning to grab the camera. This is a bit longer than many of our videos, but we hope it is worth it for you.
Ellie standing at the St. George main gate on the day of her interview.
Yes, I admit that we are looking for any possible advantage we can find, hence the adorable pig tails which Ellie usually resists.
We are in the midst of the Great School Soap Opera here in Chile.
A big part of the reason why we wanted to do one more overseas tour before heading back to the US, and why we wanted that tour to be in Latin America, was so the kids could get a strong foundation in Spanish. Sure, we don't speak Spanish at home, and we're not planning on getting a full-time nana (a typical way that gringo kids here pick up some Spanish) but surely in a country of 16 million people, 99.9% of whom speak Spanish, it shouldn't be that tough. And putting the kids in a high-quality Spanish language school should be easy. After all, Chile is known for its good education, the embassy is willing to pay big bucks for our kids' tuition (starting at kindergarten), and we have the cachet of being native English speaking diplomats. Who wouldn't let us in, right?
Wrong. Turns out that public schools here are pretty terrible, so our options are really limited to the relatively few private schools favored by the wealthy. In Chile, the private K-12 school that you go to is of the utmost importance. It's the basis for lifelong friends and networks. Chileans routinely list their elementary school on their CVs. And no wonder, the school that you attend speaks volumes about who you are. Far from embracing diversity as U.S. schools do, Chilean schools embrace very specific identities, and look for families--not just students--who fit those profiles. Each schools is associated with a particular social class, religious view, and political view, as well as being known for particular strengths (athletics, music, art, English, etc.)
Not only that, but schools can afford to be very choosy. There are about 4 applicants for every spot at the good schools. And it's very difficult to transfer in. Classes are formed pre-K, and almost no one transfers out, so it's almost impossible to transfer in. In fact, we've learned that Chileans who are transferred out of the country for work but plan to return after a few years will still pay tuition for those missing years at the school--which can be anywhere from $5,000 to $15,000 a year per child--to keep a place for their children when they return. Plus, schools charge a very hefty one-time initial registration fee ($2,300 at St. George, $8,000 at the school most embassy parents use), so once parents have plopped down that money, they're unlikely to want to pay another school such a large amount so their kids can transfer in.
Almost all Embassy kids here go to Nido de Aguilas, which we toured yesterday. It's an absolutely beautiful facility (and at $15,000 per year, it ought to be) and if you want your Chilean child to learn English, that's the place to go. Nathan and I were amazed at how many signs were up insisting that the kids talk in English. It reminded of history lessons about how we beat Native American kids who spoke in their native tongue. Many of their teachers starting at grades 1 or 2 are Americans or other expats. The curriculum seems good, but even aside from the Spanish thing, it doesn't seem like a good fit for us. For one thing, Elena would be one of only 2-3 native English speakers in her class, and by their cutoff dates would be one of the oldest kids in the class. They told us that for her to start in July (they follow a more or less American calendar), she should know some of her letters and her numbers, so that by the following July (July 2010), after a year of instruction at Nido, she can count up to 50 and know some sight words. Well, she can already count up to 100, knows all her letters, writes her own name, and knows some sight words. Add to that that "Nido de Aguilas" means Eagle's Nest and makes Nathan and I think of Hitler's alpine hideout, and it just doesn't seem like a good fit.
So most Chilean private schools here are in two groups. One group--members of the Association of British Schools--really emphasizes learning English, and so nearly all of their instruction in the early years is in English. Which makes perfect sense for Chilean parents wanting to give their kids a heads up in a globalized world, but isn't going to help our kids learn Spanish.
The other group of private schools are the religious ones--by which here in Chile I mean Catholic. We're not Catholic, but we have no objection to the kids going to Catholic schools. After all, faith is important to us too and in the states lots of Protestant kids go to Catholic schools and it's no big deal. Not so in Chile. Here, politics is very polarized between a very conservative Catholic right--which many of the wealthy are part of--and a more or less secular left, hence Chile's openly agnostic Socialist president. (Who would have thought a year ago that I'd write the words "openly agnostic"? Doesn't seem like a phrase you would ever hear in the US. Somehow the comparison to "openly gay" in the U.S. seems to accurately convey just what a big deal that is here.)
So most of the Catholic schools here serve that very conservative Catholic base. To get in, it's not enough to just be a smart student and have parents who are willing to pay, you have to show that you fit their profile. We just about got laughed out of the first Catholic school we visited. We explained that we had heard good things about the school from friends and that it was close to our home, so we wanted to come in person to learn more. Who were these friends, the admissions officer wanted to know, and what school did they send their kids to?. And she made a point of deriding the location criteria, saying that choosing a school was about much more than location. She told us that in order to apply, we would need to present our marriage certificate to show that Nathan and I had been married in a religious ceremony (it went without saying that children of single or divorced parents need not apply) and to present Elena's baptism certificate. Seemed rather odd, but at least we had those things. But when she found out that we were American Protestants where the wife works and the husband stays home with the kids, she just about fell off her chair. This was not just a Catholic school, this was one identified with the Schoenstatt Catholic movement, a very conservative, Marianist "renewal" movement within the church. Not only were they not interested in accepting Protestants, they really weren't interested in accepting most Catholics--just their particular brand.
We get the same story from many other Catholic schools here, nearly all of which seem to be run by one conservative Catholic group or another--Opus Dei, Legion of Christ, or Schoenstatt. And not only do they not want us, I don't think we really want them either. If you don't like other types of Catholics, forget celebrating religious diversity enough to embrace us Protestants. And emphasizing traditional gender roles seems to be very big. Many of those schools are single-sex, and where they are mixed, boys and girls are in separate classrooms starting in first grade. Apparently one of the things girls are taught is how to knit. Nothing against knitting, but I think I'd rather have my daughter learn math.
We did find two schools that seemed like a good fit for us: St. George, a progressive, well-regarded, Spanish-language Catholic school, and Redland, the only school in the British Schools Association that teaches in Spanish. (The Jesuits also have two schools in Santiago which are also well-regarded progressive Catholic schools, but they are boys only.) We applied at both, thinking that surely we'd get in to one, and we were hoping for St. George, as it seems to have a great curriculum, we like the faith basis, and the students there are known for forming wonderful caring communities. Just what our gringo kids need in a Chilean world.
We've done everything we can to find out about the school (and I mean everything--had American teachers and a monk over for dinners, made contact with the one other American family there, found out which of my work contacts have kids there and who knows the priest who runs the place, etc. Happily, a lot of the folks we've met are really cool people we'll want to stay in touch with whether we get in or not.) After all this, and after applying more than a month ago, last week we endured an interview there. Ellie was interviewed two on one by the school psychologist and the kindergarten teacher, while Nathan and I filled out a "questionnaire" that was actually a 9 part essay exam that we had to fill out simultaneously and without talking with questions ranging from "Describe your child, including positive and negative traits" and "How do you deal with your child when they break family norms?" to "Describe your relationship with God", "Describe your activities of the past weekend" (coming, of course, after a weekend where I hosted a delegation of 8 members of Congress and 18 assorted hangers-on, and so we didn't go to church...), and "What meaning does the Eucharist have for you?". My personal favorite was "What happened last year in Aparecida, Brazil?" I'm hoping that we got a pass on that one, as gringo Protestants who shouldn't be expected to know about some Latin American Catholic bishops' conference that happened when we were living in Cambodia.
We just got a call yesterday from St. George and we (Nathan and I, I think--I need to clarify) have been invited to an interview. So I guess maybe we cleared the first hurdle, and we're on to the second. We've already had a lengthy conversation with the admissions director, written an essay about why we want to get it (on the application), had Ellie go through tests with the school psychologist and kindergarten teacher, and filled out our 9 part essay exams, so I can't imagine there is much more to know about us, but we'll come in and say it all again. Keep your fingers crossed!
Two weeks ago we decided we needed a fun family activity--particularly since the craziness of the Codel would seen be upon me and make me scarce from family activities for a while. We gave the kids a long list of choices of museums and other fun places to go--a list we would have killed for in Cambodia. They chose the one place they had already been--MIM (Museo Interactivo del Mirador). A little disappointing for the grown ups, but who can blame them? It's one cool place...
The fun starts outside with areas where you can run through lots of plastic tubing (perhaps more fun than it sounds).
Enormous bubbles are always a big hit.
We paused for a portrait inside the kaleidoscope.
And Mommy and Ellie made quite the impression here.
Finally, it was time for Ben and Ellie to take place in a construction workshop, where they put foam bricks on the outlines of a house under the guidance of a museum staff member, then made an earthquake and cleaned up the ruined house so it was ready for the next group.
