Spande Children Deny Torture Allegations

Children of an American diplomat living in Santiago have denied allegations that they have been secretly torturing their playmates. Disturbing photos which recently came to light show their friends suspended upside down, with eyes and nose covered with an impermeable substance, and in other cases restrained en masse while hanging from what appears to be a wall, while one playmate appears to be passed out near by and a potential instrument of torture--a rope--lies just inches away. One human rights representative said, "People say that children are cruel, but this case shows graphically just how cruel they can be. We're taking this case to the Hague."



However, Ben Spande, 3, and his sister, Elena, 4, defend their actions and appear to even express pride in them. Ben stated, "Elmo is pretending to be SuperElmo. He's upside down because he is flying. He's wearing a mask because he's a superhero." Ben declined to comment on allegations that the photographs show Elmo in the act of crying for help.


For her part, Elena Spande claimed responsibility for the suspension of four individuals but denied that she had any malevolent intent, saying, "They are all on a ride at the fair. The one laying on the counter is too scared to go. And the string is to help them in case they fall."

Child psychologists are puzzled by several elements of the case, noting that Elena Spande appears in the photos for both incidents, despite her brother claiming credit for the Elmo suspension. They also note that Elena appears to be grimacing in the photo with the four suspended playmates. Sigmoid Freund stated, "In this case, the older child seems to be claiming credit for her brother's work. This is a common behavior among disturbed older children who are used to being the smartest and most advanced children in their families. Her grimace in the second photograph may indicate that she is beginning to be capable of some moral reasoning and may be feeling remorse for her actions." When asked about these observations, Jennifer Spande, mother of the "preschool torturers", said, "Remorse shmorse. Ben is just going through a phase where he doesn't want to be in photos, but Ellie is a total ham. And yeah, sometimes her photo smile does look like a grimace, doesn't it?"